1/30/11

My draft song: "He Left Me for Snooki"

(Must sing in thick, southern, drawl a la Hayes Carll's "She Left Me For Jesus twang....)

Here we go: 

It’s my last night in Houston,

and I’m feeling ok,
‘cause I’m leaving this town
without herpes...
[stretch out the word 'herpes' as long as possible]
Lucky me…
[again, stretch this out as well]
Then, heavy on the guitar here:He left me for Sno----oki
He left me for Sno---oki,
but that’s alright with me..
yeah, that's alright with me...

pause

‘Cause you left me for Sno-oki,
when I wasn’t lookin’….
you were Facebookin’,
[bet you thought she was actually good lookin!]
[say the last sentence sort of slow and talk]

pause
then heavy on the guitar again here...
He left me for Sno----oki

He left me for Sno---oki,
but that’s alright with me..
yeah, that's alright with me...

Well, she’s a sad sight to see,
that good ‘ol Snooki,
‘bet she’s giving you VD,
when you’re making good ‘ol whoopee….. 
[play around with the words here, maybe drop 'good']

[heavy on guitar here]


Well,
He left me for Sno----oki
He left me for Sno---oki,
but that’s alright with me…….
‘Cause now I’m making whoopee with Wookie…

Oh...  he left me for Sno----oki
he left me for Sno---oki,
but that’s alright with me…….
‘Cause now I’m making whoopee with Wookie
and all I got was a bad case of…. fleas.
[last line of the song, say/sing slowly]


[Then, in slow talking voice... just start letting it rip.. ;-]
"Darlin’
If you wanted VD,
why didn’t tell me?
I mean, maybe we could have worked it out…"

or "Man, never knew you liked them short and stubby… and dumb and ugly."

or "man, I got all this education and all these degrees, and I'm cute and I'm funny and you won't even fuck me?"  [sorry, that one is not PG-13]

And to that I say "thank god, amen, allelujah!"  ;-)


Snooki (aka Jami K)

Song Writing Cue #1 for 2011


As we continue to honor Hayes Carll's most recent appearance on The Tonight Show,
the first "Large Marge" Songwriting / Poetry / Flashfiction / Photography Word Cue
for the week of 1/23 - 1/30/11 is Hayes Carlls' song "She Left Me for Jesus."


Write about someone who left you for some other turkey,
or some turkey you left,
or heck, just write about Jesus.



You have one week. Start now. ;-)